“Life instantly improves when you don’t blame other people and focus on what you can control.”James Clear
There is often an inverse ratio for blame and control.
The less control I (believe I) have the more willing I am to blame others for the situation.
And the more control I feel I have (or exert) then more I take responsibility for the situation.
But feelings of control are sort of an abstraction. You always have control over something, even if you don’t feel “in control” of a situation.
- You have control over your reactions and responses to a situation.
- You have control over the actions you take moving forward.
- You have control over how you form your beliefs and what you say as a reflection of those beliefs.
And the ultimate control we have is what we choose to focus on.
If I focus on what I cannot control, then I am more likely to point fingers and put blame on others.
But if my focus is on what I can do in a given situation — if I am proactive instead of reactive — then I start to take responsibility.
I might not be responsible for what happened. But I’m responsible for what happens next.